Commencement Address 2025

Before I get started, this is an extra special day for not one, not two, but THREE of our graduates who are celebrating their birthdays today! Happy Birthday, Bennet, Jack, and Jenna! I just gave you your birthday present.

 

Before I get started with the “Charge to the Senior Class”, I’d like us to take a moment to thank some important people. While your diploma is the result of a lot of hard work on your part, there has been an army of supporters dedicated to helping you get here today, and I think it is important that we take a moment to acknowledge them. 

 

Thank you to our Buildings & Grounds crew, Kata Baker, Ron Garcia, MIchael Bane, and Sherri Malinoski for putting this all together. There are countless hours required to pull off a big event like this, and this would not be possible without you.

 

Thank you to the Kingswood Oxford Board of Trustees.  They have full-time jobs of their own but dedicate many hours of their spare time supporting and promoting our school’s strategic vision and compelling mission to “inspire students to excel and lead lives of integrity”   Their efforts have also made it possible for this amazing class to become graduates, so please join me in thanking the Board of Trustees.

 

To our Parents of Seniors, thank you for entrusting us with the awesome responsibility of educating your children. Seniors, your parents have been your biggest supporters and have made more sacrifices than they can count in time, money and energy to provide you with the opportunity to attend KO.  Please join me in thanking them.

 

Lastly, our faculty.  Seniors, where would you be without this amazing group of talented and caring adults, who brought you into their lives, shared their passions with you, challenged you to reach further heights than you believed possible, picked you up when you fell, and believed in you every minute of the way?  Please join me in thanking the amazing faculty and staff of Kingswood Oxford School.

 

CHARGE TO THE CLASS OF 2025

 

Class of 2025, As you head off into this exciting next chapter of your lives, I want to leave you with a few final pieces of advice. But instead of quoting philosophers or presidents, today I’m turning to the animal kingdom.
Now, you might think I would use the example of a lion —be brave. Or an ox—be strong. Or maybe our own fierce Wyvern—be… well, intimidating? But no, the animals I have in mind are a little less understated: I’m talking about the goldfish, the owl, and the firefly.

Each one has something important to teach you about how to move through this world—with resilience, with wisdom, and with kindness. And each one, in its own way, reminds me of the lessons you’ve learned here at Kingswood Oxford.

First,  Be a Goldfish.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

The world will be hard enough on you at times. Deadlines, expectations, disappointments—life has a way of humbling us whether we ask for it or not. So don’t pile on. You don’t need to be your own harshest critic. You are going to make mistakes. You will take wrong turns. You’ll say things you regret, forget something important, you’ll get a C on that paper that you were sure was an A. The question isn’t whether you’ll stumble. You will. The real question is: what do you do next?

 

When you do…Be a Goldfish.

 

I realize you were probably expecting something a little more inspirational than an aquarium metaphor. But hear me out. This phrase comes from one of the world’s greatest philosopher/soccer coaches, Ted Lasso. In Season 1, of the Netflix hit Ted Lasso, a young player named Sam Obisanya makes a mistake on the field during a game. He’s visibly frustrated and upset, clearly stuck in the moment and letting it affect his confidence and performance.

 

Coach Lasso walks over to him and says:

“You know what the happiest animal on Earth is?”
Sam looks confused.
“It’s a goldfish. You know why?”
“No, Coach.”
“It’s Got a 10-second memory. So Be a goldfish, Sam.”

 

Being a goldfish means letting go of mistakes quickly, forgiving yourself without drama, and staying focused on what’s next instead of what just went wrong. It’s about resilience — refusing to let a bad moment define the rest of your day, your game, or your sense of self.

 

You won’t get better unless you fail, so take your failures as opportunities for growth. One of the greatest and most successful athletes of all time, Michael Jordan, lived by the mantra. He once said:

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

 

Closer to home, imagine where we’d be today if one of high school’s greatest baseball players, Tommy Caparaso, had let that missed play against Choate last year define him. If he’d wallowed in self-pity instead of using it as fuel. We might not be sitting here today as Founders League Champs if Tommy hadn’t—been a goldfish.

 

Too many people carry their mistakes around like luggage. They replay every misstep, every awkward conversation, every “I can’t believe I did that” moment. But that weight gets heavy. And it can pull you down. Don’t let it. Forgive yourself. Laugh. Learn. And move on. Or as Taylor Swift would say—just shake it off.

 

**2.  If my first charge is to go easy on yourself, my second is to do the opposite with your opinions: be an owl.
Owls aren’t just wise—they can rotate their heads almost 270 degrees. That’s perspective. That’s what we need more of. Turn your head. Look at things from all sides like our friend the owl.  We are living in a time when the truth is under siege. Misinformation spreads faster than facts. Disinformation is weaponized, and deepfakes blur the line between reality and illusion. In the face of all this, there’s a growing temptation to cling to simple answers—to choose certainty over complexity, slogans over substance—because it feels easier, faster, more comfortable. But comfort is not the same as clarity. And truth—the kind that matters—requires patience, humility, and work. That’s why holding your beliefs up to the light is so important.

 

In such a world, we need truth-seekers and people who can look at things from all the angles—people brave enough to ask, “How do I know this to be true?” and to keep asking even when the answers are inconvenient. At Kingswood Oxford, you’ve learned how to think critically, how to question assumptions, how to seek understanding. You’ve studied history, science, literature, and ethics—not just to absorb knowledge, but to understand how knowledge is built.

 

The world is not a simple place. Most of the important issues—climate change, immigration, tariffs, the war in Israel and Gaza, DEI — all have more than one side, more than one story, more than one solution.  These are layered, painful, urgent conversations. They deserve more than tweets and slogans.

 

So don’t settle for certainty. You’ve been taught at KO to be intellectually curious. Let curiosity lead, not ego. Use the same rigor you would in a lab or a research paper: ask questions, seek evidence, consider counterarguments, test your assumptions, and yes—look for ways you might be wrong. If your belief can’t survive that kind of scrutiny, it’s not ready to carry the weight of your conviction. The strongest beliefs aren’t the loudest—they’re the ones that have been tested by challenge, shaped by dialogue, explored from every angle, and grounded in a commitment to truth over comfort. Don’t let your thinking get dumbed down. Be the person in the room who still respects nuance, still asks questions, still seeks other perspectives. Be the owl. That’s what the world desperately needs.

 

**3. Be a Light for Others – Be a firefly

And finally—if goldfish shake it off, and owls seek out complexity—then fireflies shine. Quietly. Consistently. Gently.

My last charge to you is this: Be a firefly. Try to be a light for others.

 

You are going to meet people who are struggling—who feel like they don’t belong, who are unsure of themselves, who are wandering in the dark. Sometimes they’ll tell you. Often, they won’t. But you can still be the one who shows up with kindness, who notices, who makes space.

 

I usually listen to “New Releases” on Spotify in the morning as I drink my coffee and get a little work done. A few weeks ago a song by Dan Mangan came up, called Soapbox, and there was a line there that stood out to me, and I thought reminded me of this Class:

“There are those who take in strangers. I suppose the kindness sets them free. There are those who leave a light on, in case another needs to see.”

 

Be that kind of person. You don’t have to fix anyone’s life. You don’t have to shine like the sun. You just have to leave the light on. Sit with someone who’s hurting. If you see another student who looks like they could use a friend, invite them to your table. Be a steady presence when things get hard.

 

And here’s the truth: the world needs more fireflies right now. It needs more kindness, more empathy, more people who show up and say, “You’re not alone.” In a time when so much feels divided, performative, or just plain loud, what we need are steady, quiet lights—people who care, who notice, who make things just a little better for someone else. So go out there and be a firefly – Be that light.

 

So that’s my charge to you, Class of 2025: 

Be a Goldfish. Be an Owl. Be a Firefly.
Let go of your mistakes. Question your certainty. And shine your light where it’s needed most.

 

Class of 2025, Know that our doors are always open for you here at Kingswood Oxford, and we can’t wait to hear about your adventures when you return to say hello. I leave you with a somewhat overused Gaelic blessing, but overused perhaps for good reason:

 

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

The rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Oh Yeah, one final Charge:  Call your parents at least once a week.  And a text doesn’t count.